How many of you have read THIS article featured on The Thought Catalog? I stumbled upon this website and article when I saw someone post it on Facebook. I normally don't follow the links very often, but I chose to do so this time. I can honestly say that after reading this article, I won't be returning to the website - but it did spark the inner "bull shit caller" in me.
I am not one to get on my soapbox in front of an audience. I choose to do so in the privacy of my own home.. Sorry, hubby. However, this article really struck a few chords.
I don't think calling you a feminist is really even adequate. You are more like a she-man woman hater in all sense of the phrase. I feel sadness for your mother.. The woman who more than likely put all of her dreams on hold to give you life, even if just temporarily. Maybe she was a woman who endured numerous struggles and strife just to be called "mom", maybe she passed away during childbirth - sacrificing her own life so that you may have your own or maybe, just maybe, she was one of the many mothers who had to choose between putting much needed food in her belly or yours. I feel badly for you not seeing what a miracle it truly is to be part of something as important as raising a child. That child will have the chance to grow up and be anything that he or she want to be. Those doctors, lawyers and big corporate CEOs that you speak of? Well, they wouldn't exist without their mothers and fathers, and neither would you.
I think you are a bit confused as to the norm and social understanding of "average" activities such as marriage, birth and family life. We don't celebrate those things because we are astounded that they were accomplished.. We don't throw showers to say "yay, congratulations on the accomplishment of actually getting a guy to marry you". We do these things to celebrate life, love and happiness with the ones that we hold dearest to our hearts.. It's not like passing a test or getting into law school, we celebrate these things because they excite us, they symbolize two people choosing to stand by one another's side 'til death do them part. And as a woman who has been married less than a year, I can honestly say that I'm not so convinced that being a wife and mother can be referred to as "doing nothing" anymore than running a NASA space station can.
Women endure pain, grief, depression, ridicule and total life transformations every day to have children of their own - but in the end, it's all worth it because I cannot imagine anything more rewarding (and emotionally trying) than being a mother. I have 2 amazing step children, but I have yet to have a child of my own.. A little one to have my blue eyes and my husbands big ol' heart.. Maybe one day. I also know that in my younger years, I caused my parents a few gray hairs. I was far from an angel..
I know, shocker right?
My parents sacrificed a lot for my brother and I, so that we could have what they never got the chance to have. They provided for us and loved us, and we rebelled as children and teenagers often do. To this day - even though we are grown, they would do whatever was humanly possible to help us out no matter what we did or needed. Children are needy. They need food, clothes and water but they also need love, support and guidance. Simply birthing a child doesn't automatically make you the Patron Saint of Mothers (St. Anne is who Google told me fit this title, but I'm not Catholic - so don't hold it against me if it's incorrect).
Maybe that is the case with you, dear blogger? Maybe you had a rough childhood with dead beat parents and thus you justify your doubt in the family system by ridiculing the one thing that makes you fearful.. Fearful that you too, will turn out just like those who raised you? This makes my heart break for you. Even the busiest bustling cities filled with all kinds of amazing and interesting people, thousands of restaurants and Broadway plays are still lonely without someone who truly knows you and loves you no matter what your faults are.
All I've got to say on this topic is that I spent the majority of my twenties single and taking care of myself.. Drinking wine for dinner, grocery shopping once a month and only putting on pants when I wanted to was a piece of cake compared to taking care of 3 humans and 3 fur-babies.
No, marriage and families aren't for everyone. But who are you to ridicule those who so selfishly give their entire life to another? You are never done being a parent just like you are never done being someone's child. YOU are still someone's child.
The good news (<-sarcasm) is, you only turn up your nose at the middle-working class Americans that choose to have husbands and raise families.. The ones who don't actually have to balance cooking, cleaning, working an 8-5.. Never mind the fact that most children in the limelight suffer psychological disorders, scrutiny, eating disorders and substance abuse.
So Ms. Amy, what you're trying to tell us is that it's okay to have babies robot style. Make 'em, bake 'em and toss 'em off to someone else to care for. I'll let someone else tackle that one...
Until next time,
The happiest little wife, step-mom, house-manager, full-time working fulfilled life enjoyer there is.